Crown of Beauty:
A Discipleship Ministry for Post-Abortive Women
Sobbing, Noelani* walked up the grassy aisle to take a white rose representing her aborted baby at a recent Crown of Beauty Memorial Service. Throughout the memorial service, Noelani wept, visibly and deeply moved by the remembrance of her child and the special words of other women and her pastor. Noelani had come reluctantly to the service, having been invited by another post-abortive woman who had gone through the study. At the end of the service, I went over to her and asked how she was feeling. Still teary yet smiling, Noelani shared, “Before the service I was scared, but I’m happy now. For so long, I’ve denied the existence of my child. I pretended it wasn’t a life. I’ve been angry with my ex-boyfriend even though he wanted the baby. Now, I think I’m ready to deal with my abortion.”
Dear friend, you might be able to relate to Noelani. Perhaps you conceived a baby out of wedlock and tried to solve your “problem” the way society encourages us—by having an abortion. We try to deny what our God-given conscience tells us–that we had a live, growing baby in our womb. To cope with our loss, shame, guilt, and emptiness we mentally tell ourselves “it was just tissue” and deny that we had a perfectly formed human being growing within. It’s very common for post-abortive women to keep our terrible secret hidden for years; meanwhile, guilt and shame works its damaging effects on us.
The Alan Guttmacher Institute estimates that an estimated 43 % of all women will have at least one abortion by the time they are 45 years old.1 And, for every post-abortive woman, there is a man who also lost his baby and consequently struggles with anger, depression, and guilt. Each woman and man carries her/his burden of shame alone, broken, regretful, emotionally alienated.
Abortion Damages Us:
Women and men who have had an abortion often experience guilt, sadness, chronic depression, fear and/or anger in the aftermath. These feelings are commonly referred to as Post-Abortion Syndrome or Stress (PAS). According to research, approximately 40% of women in abortion recovery programs suffer intense PAS, while 80% will manifest some PAS symptoms. Some of the symptoms reported by women participating in abortion recovery programs are listed below:2
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92% experience emotional deadening/numbing
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82% experience intense feelings of loneliness and/or isolation
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86% describe an increased tendency toward anger or rage.
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86% fear that others will learn of their abortion or experience a greater sense of fear for unidentified reasons.
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73% report some sexual dysfunction.
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63% experience denial of doubt or negativity regarding decision to abort. (Average period of denial of any doubts or negative feelings about their abortion was 5.25 years after abortion.)
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58% suffer from insomnia or nightmares.
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56% experience suicidal thoughts.
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53% begin or increase drug and/or alcohol use to deaden their pain.
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39% report eating disorders that commenced after their abortions.
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28% attempt suicide.
God Forgives and Heals
The Good News is that God didn’t design us to carry this weight of guilt and shame and He has the power to forgive and heal us! We want you to know, dear friend, that you are not alone and Christ desires to set you free so that you can live victoriously for Him! Listen to the prophet Isaiah who spoke forth the heart of the Lord:
Isaiah 61:1-3 1The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.This is the heart of the Heavenly Father for you! He has wonderful news for you! He can forgive, comfort and heal your broken heart and set you free. He can take your depression and emptiness and clothe you with His praise and joy! He can take the ashes associated with your grief, and bestow, instead, a crown of beauty on you! That is our prayer for you, that the Spirit of God will heal your broken heart and set you free to live for Him! Scroll down and listen to Rachelle’s story!
Blessings,
*Noelani is not her real name
Rachelle’s Story:
Read Rachelle’s Story or go to the Video
Contact Us:
We would love to hear your story and counsel you if you so desire. You can contact Rachelle at rae@calvarykauai.org or Bev at byamada01@gmail.com.
1http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html
2“Information for Clergy and Christian Counselors”. http://www.lifeissues.org/sanctityoflife/packet.pdf
